it was so sweet, having him back for a bit and i was really tempted to adopt him myself - but it would have closed the door for other, more desperate, less adoptable but just as deserving dogs that i might foster here, until they find a home.
so yesterday i came home with two.
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| Baby Girl |
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| Felicia |
it was a grim, "dead dog walking" day at the shelter. they were critically over crowded, staff was dangerously over loaded and some painful, soul wounding choices were being made. there were people reaching out, looking for foster homes for some of the dogs on the euthanasia list and a few got lucky. most did not. hearts were torn. tears were shed.
so yeah, i came home with only two...Felicia, a total sweetheart of a dog, calm, cooperative, mature but who, some suggest, bears an unfortunate resemblance to the hounds of hell depicted in early versions of Dante's Inferno, and Baby Girl, who, though she's just a big 7 month old pup and soft as a bunny, also has the less desirable gift of vertical elevation. it's a common behavior of shelter dogs but baby girl has made it into an art form. sometimes she goes with the standard bouncing on back legs with front legs reaching toward heaven, but often she will take it to the next level and simply pop from a solid four on the floor to a four in the air hover, with her back totally horizontal. apparently this makes it hard for folks to imagine enjoying her company on a long term basis.
i didn't mean to come home with two.
it just happened.
i have a friend, Joey, who has taken on the thankless task of worrying about me. some others of my friends have done that for me in the past but time has taught them that i'm headstrong and determined. once i've set a course they can form a union and bla bla all they want and make the best absolute argument in the world against it and i'll listen thoughtfully and give them hugs and sincerely thank them for caring and walk them to their cars and say bye. and then i'll go back to doing what i was doing in the first place. once i've chosen, once i've committed, i'm on a learning curve - i'm tracking like a blood hound to see what will happen, what i can accomplish, how i will be changed. once my passion is engaged it's like trying to stop a rocket launch after the count down...nope. no way. and it's not that i'm unaware of various risks involved...it's that there's something of overriding value to be gained...there's some potential to be unlocked in me.
my dear friends are challenged to love me, in spite of who i am.
but Joey hasn't given up yet and he will, from time to time, try to talk sense into me. it's kind of pitiful. i can see in his eyes how much he wants to help and how hopeless its starting to feel. i really don't think he expects me to change my crazy ways just cause he's calling me out on them, but maybe it makes him feel better to know he's at least tried to save me from myself. my daughter crossed paths with him this week and he immediately wanted to talk about "this whole dog thing with your mom". maybe he thought she didn't know. more likely, he thought she was a rational human being and would want to join him in some sort of intervention.
i know this latest turn of events in the whole dog thing might put him over the edge so i need to speak directly to him:
Joey, i'm deeply grateful that you care so much...and i'm really sorry to deny you the joy of saving my loony ass from destruction. but even though you make perfect sense and have my best interests at heart, even though its not a logical thing to do, i have to keep going. i have to follow through cause while it's clearly not safe or relaxing or peaceful or sane, it is what's best for my soul. thank you for caring....b
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