Medicare looms

in my future.  oy.  i mean like this week, i officially become a crone.

that's not a bad thing, though from time to time when i'm surprised by my own reflection, it's a shocker.  man.  i look like i've taken a beating.  somehow, i'm never prepared for the reality.

so this is the big plateau.  the point in life where you look around and assess.
and i have to say, things haven't turned out like i expected.  i'm not a ballerina or a veterinarian.  i'm not happily married (or unhappily for that matter, thanks be to heaven).  i'm not zen.  i haven't achieved enlightenment or dedicated my life to a noble cause.  i've just muddled.  that feels disappointing.  but here's the thing...i have learned some stuff and it's mostly about values.  there's beauty in letting go of what i wanted, so that i can appreciate what i have.

i apparently will not change the world, save the wolves or the polar bears or democracy from some sad fate, no matter who's elected next.  what's playing out on the planet environmentally, economically and politically is an overwhelming drama that i can't fix.  i'm not indifferent or disconnected but even as i do the small things that i can to affect change, i'm not expecting that my answer is the only one or the most perfect choice or that any one other person has the combination of vision and power to correct our course.

Bill Gates recently sponsored a competition to find the next great innovation in toilet design.  that's kind of quirky, i thought.  but as i followed the story, i came to appreciate the implications.  you'd be surprised at the number of folks around the world working on the question of disposal and at the variety of their solutions. the innovations ranged from improved latrine systems to complicated sewage treatment models.  the big cash prize went to the solar powered electric toilet that cleans the water and composts waste.  perhaps the greatest thing about it is that if that design or some of the others can be made affordable, they could change things globally.  solve sanitation and health issues in disadvantaged countries as well as  right here at home, where we've yet to feel the full impact of a wide-spread, disastrous drought.

not any one person has the combination of vision and power to correct our global course.  there's no use dividing into tribes and warring against each other, passing the hot potato from hand to hand.  nobody wins when we're divided, wasting our energies on whose team will get the flag rather than on the real question, which is no longer how can we make life better but how can we sustain it, in the face of diminishing resources and crumbling economies, world wide.  we can't afford to waste any more time on the vanity of our own reflections.  what's called for is the letting go of ideologies for the sake of cooperation and mutual support around reasonable solutions to real life issues.  let's take care of all of us, not just some.

let's build a better toilet.