are the new puppies' names (courtesy of a friend and loyal reader). his for sir walter, the adventurer and hers for the way she stays burrowed into the warmth of the bed. cora lets me pick them up now and she lets me know when it's time to put them down. she really is a good mom.
i've never had the chance to observe newborn pups, till now. Maggie's were fat little doggies when i brought them home...swirling around my feet and biting my shoes as i tried to move, so i have to confess, i was expecting something different. i guess i thought like, ok, 2-3 days and they'd be running around. but they're 12 days old and this evening i saw raleigh learning to stand, in that wobbly way that babies do. taking a single step and flopping onto his belly. long periods of rest between one attempt and the next. ember, meanwhile, was on her back in the bed. when i disturbed her, she opened her eyes, closed them and started to squirm, putting her paws up to her mouth. watching them, ember content to be a baby and her brother, wanting to grow up and get going right this red hot minute, i'm flooded with memories of the infants i've been blessed to know and how they've been distinguished and individual, from their earliest moments. it's enchanting to see the way each new life arrives on earth as a particular spirit, with its own particular way of being. i'm reminded, again, how various we are. how wonderous in our variety.
**********
in other news, i went back to the shelter today, determined to walk dogs and keep my head down. but of course, because i was determined, it didn't happen that way. i wound up working with potential adopters. showing dogs as much as walking them.
Mr Banks got adopted by one of the volunteers (yay!!)and one of the puppies by the folks i'd been helping. i'm in love with a new dog named Yogi. He looks like a little 10 lb german shepherd and he is desperately good. i hope someone wonderful chooses him before i have to take him home.
love stories, success stories, happy dogs...it was a satisfying day. it felt good to be back.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
the white hot burning question
of whether or not i can continue with my work at the shelter has sort of answered itself.
i haven't been able to go in, the past few days and won't be able to for several more, for personal reasons, and i think that's just as well. it had been a tough week and i was worn out. being away gives me the opportunity to miss it. to feel the space its absence leaves in my life. to think about what i've been doing the past few months.
from my first day there, i just rolled up my proverbial sleeves and got to work. i didn't make a plan to go back each day. i just went. i think that's how i know it's right for me. there was no deciding. i don't keep track of my hours and i'm only capable of simple math but i know that it's been a big commitment. i've given it a significant chunk of my time. i refer to it as "going to work" because it's more than a diversion. it's a reason for getting out of bed and a chance to feel good about doing so.
i hope some things change at the shelter...but i'll be going back, even if they don't. once again i'm aware that i'm helping animals in need and that one of them is me.
i haven't been able to go in, the past few days and won't be able to for several more, for personal reasons, and i think that's just as well. it had been a tough week and i was worn out. being away gives me the opportunity to miss it. to feel the space its absence leaves in my life. to think about what i've been doing the past few months.
from my first day there, i just rolled up my proverbial sleeves and got to work. i didn't make a plan to go back each day. i just went. i think that's how i know it's right for me. there was no deciding. i don't keep track of my hours and i'm only capable of simple math but i know that it's been a big commitment. i've given it a significant chunk of my time. i refer to it as "going to work" because it's more than a diversion. it's a reason for getting out of bed and a chance to feel good about doing so.
i hope some things change at the shelter...but i'll be going back, even if they don't. once again i'm aware that i'm helping animals in need and that one of them is me.
Friday, July 27, 2012
i'm considering
and i'm deciding if i can continue my work at the shelter.
as the pace has picked up with more lookers, more adoptions, the system is faltering even as the volunteer numbers are slowly increasing and life for the dogs, in particular, is getting better. i've been helping out, when things are really busy, showing animals, talking about their particular quirks and graces, taking them outside to spend time with prospective adoptors. i'm not a particularly appealing hostess. i'm usually dripping sweat and i always smell like some combination of wet dog and the stuff i shovel between walks. but i know most of the dogs pretty well and i'm not shy about telling folks what they're getting into in terms of the adjustments and commitments they'll face. i'll speak up if i don't think they're making a good choice for their particular circumstance.
a month ago, a woman came in to choose a dog. she fell in love with a big, beautiful, energetic white hound. she said she would be responsible for its care but that it would live with her elderly mother, as her companion. you see the problem. i was emphatically unsupportive and tried to steer her toward smaller, older, quieter choices but she would not be dissuaded. yesterday the dog was rudely and unceremoniously returned...like it was her fault that she was too big, needed too much attention.
disturbing as that is, it's not the issue at hand. i was just telling you about it to demonstrate what a hard-a i can be. how incredibly effective.
what may drive me away is that i can't trust the system. when i show animals i'm answering adoption questions and i'm repeating to folks what i've been told about how it works. except recently it hasn't been working. filling out an application on an animal is supposed to give you 48 hours to decide. if you haven't paid the adoption fee or signed the contract within that time, you lose your place in line and if there's a second application, that one has 48 hours, and so on. if it's a particularly appealing animal, there can be multiple apps in the back-up position.
so what's happening is that i'm showing animals and spending time with people and answering those questions and encouraging them, if they're serious but need to bring back a child or spouse or their household pet for approval, to go ahead and apply and take advantage of that 48 hour grace period. and several times in the last couple weeks, those folks have returned to find that somebody's jumped the line and taken home the animal they'd expected was theirs. there have been some grievously disappointed families...folks who returned within hours to cement their adoption or worse yet, went home and read about the adoption on line.
in each case, the explanation i was given couldn't hold water. either some folks were being given priority or there's a sink hole in the process. mistakes happen. i'm not one to expect perfection. what's totally unacceptable is that when there was an opportunity to correct one of these errors, the decision was made to do nothing. not even a delay, to assess the circumstances.
a friend of mine came in to see a particular kitten she'd looked at online and i happened to be there at the time so i got to introduce them. it was love. this particular little kitten was like an answered prayer for her. she had no doubts about it but simply wanted to give her husband the courtesy of a phone call before she brought it home and he was mid-flight, somewhere over the atlantic. hers was the first application. sad story short, as she was making the call and shopping for cat beds, someone else adopted the cat. now here's the part that makes me angry. the folks in charge knew what had happened before closing that evening and chose to do nothing about it. they sent the cat, the next morning, to be spayed and declawed as per the agreement with the usurping owner. good God.
my friend and i each made a separate appeal the next morning, for them to intervene before it was too late. we were each denied with the boiler-plate line that there's nothing we can do because the other person had a signed contract. the most they did was to call and ask if that happy shopper would give up her claim and nope. she wouldn't.
i feel personally betrayed. i feel personally responsible because i've unwittingly but repeatedly misrepresented the truth to people and caused them heartache and all i'm getting from the folks in charge is a shrugging apology. oh, well. so sorry but rules is rules. except when they're not.
i don't know what to do.
as the pace has picked up with more lookers, more adoptions, the system is faltering even as the volunteer numbers are slowly increasing and life for the dogs, in particular, is getting better. i've been helping out, when things are really busy, showing animals, talking about their particular quirks and graces, taking them outside to spend time with prospective adoptors. i'm not a particularly appealing hostess. i'm usually dripping sweat and i always smell like some combination of wet dog and the stuff i shovel between walks. but i know most of the dogs pretty well and i'm not shy about telling folks what they're getting into in terms of the adjustments and commitments they'll face. i'll speak up if i don't think they're making a good choice for their particular circumstance.
a month ago, a woman came in to choose a dog. she fell in love with a big, beautiful, energetic white hound. she said she would be responsible for its care but that it would live with her elderly mother, as her companion. you see the problem. i was emphatically unsupportive and tried to steer her toward smaller, older, quieter choices but she would not be dissuaded. yesterday the dog was rudely and unceremoniously returned...like it was her fault that she was too big, needed too much attention.
disturbing as that is, it's not the issue at hand. i was just telling you about it to demonstrate what a hard-a i can be. how incredibly effective.
what may drive me away is that i can't trust the system. when i show animals i'm answering adoption questions and i'm repeating to folks what i've been told about how it works. except recently it hasn't been working. filling out an application on an animal is supposed to give you 48 hours to decide. if you haven't paid the adoption fee or signed the contract within that time, you lose your place in line and if there's a second application, that one has 48 hours, and so on. if it's a particularly appealing animal, there can be multiple apps in the back-up position.
so what's happening is that i'm showing animals and spending time with people and answering those questions and encouraging them, if they're serious but need to bring back a child or spouse or their household pet for approval, to go ahead and apply and take advantage of that 48 hour grace period. and several times in the last couple weeks, those folks have returned to find that somebody's jumped the line and taken home the animal they'd expected was theirs. there have been some grievously disappointed families...folks who returned within hours to cement their adoption or worse yet, went home and read about the adoption on line.
in each case, the explanation i was given couldn't hold water. either some folks were being given priority or there's a sink hole in the process. mistakes happen. i'm not one to expect perfection. what's totally unacceptable is that when there was an opportunity to correct one of these errors, the decision was made to do nothing. not even a delay, to assess the circumstances.
a friend of mine came in to see a particular kitten she'd looked at online and i happened to be there at the time so i got to introduce them. it was love. this particular little kitten was like an answered prayer for her. she had no doubts about it but simply wanted to give her husband the courtesy of a phone call before she brought it home and he was mid-flight, somewhere over the atlantic. hers was the first application. sad story short, as she was making the call and shopping for cat beds, someone else adopted the cat. now here's the part that makes me angry. the folks in charge knew what had happened before closing that evening and chose to do nothing about it. they sent the cat, the next morning, to be spayed and declawed as per the agreement with the usurping owner. good God.
my friend and i each made a separate appeal the next morning, for them to intervene before it was too late. we were each denied with the boiler-plate line that there's nothing we can do because the other person had a signed contract. the most they did was to call and ask if that happy shopper would give up her claim and nope. she wouldn't.
i feel personally betrayed. i feel personally responsible because i've unwittingly but repeatedly misrepresented the truth to people and caused them heartache and all i'm getting from the folks in charge is a shrugging apology. oh, well. so sorry but rules is rules. except when they're not.
i don't know what to do.
Monday, July 23, 2012
it struck me
last night that i've been working at the shelter since the beginning of May. Not quite 3 months. Not quite three months! Good Lord.
This isn't the same life, since i've been going there. I've changed my thinking about so many things...become aware of so much. It's a genuine experience of helplessness...fighting a tide of tragedy. but it's also a learning experience and one of increasingly frequent joy. the little core of dedicated volunteers is growing. more dogs are getting out for walks more frequently. we're able to focus extra attention on the most needy. adoptions are at an all time high because of increasing awareness in the community.
i've been careful not to identify myself or the shelter or even the state where all this has happened. it's a universal issue. i want it to feel like it's your back yard, cause, trust me, it is. but i want to tell you about a program here that's making a difference. maybe you'll want to try something like it.
two concerned women formed a non-profit whose work it is to change the way that shelter animals are perceived. they take "glamor shots" of the animals as they come up for adoption. bathed and brushed and wearing bow ties or pearl necklaces, seated on wicker chairs or outside on the lawn, they're photographed by professionals who donate their time and efforts for the cause. there's a facebook page where the animals are featured and it's updated with the good news as adoptions occur. and of course the exposure increases exponentially as viewers "like" the site or share the photos on their own pages. the shelter uses the same photos on their website, so instead of the usual cowering-in-the-corner black and white pictures you're used to seeing, there are these charming, tongue-lolling, sweet looking critters that are easy to imagine curled up on your couch or playing with your kids.
maybe it sounds like a small thing, but like i said, adoptions are at an all time high. it takes dedication and effort. it takes volunteer support. and it works.
if you'd like more information, contact me by using the "comment" button below.
i'll be happy to tell you more.
This isn't the same life, since i've been going there. I've changed my thinking about so many things...become aware of so much. It's a genuine experience of helplessness...fighting a tide of tragedy. but it's also a learning experience and one of increasingly frequent joy. the little core of dedicated volunteers is growing. more dogs are getting out for walks more frequently. we're able to focus extra attention on the most needy. adoptions are at an all time high because of increasing awareness in the community.
i've been careful not to identify myself or the shelter or even the state where all this has happened. it's a universal issue. i want it to feel like it's your back yard, cause, trust me, it is. but i want to tell you about a program here that's making a difference. maybe you'll want to try something like it.
two concerned women formed a non-profit whose work it is to change the way that shelter animals are perceived. they take "glamor shots" of the animals as they come up for adoption. bathed and brushed and wearing bow ties or pearl necklaces, seated on wicker chairs or outside on the lawn, they're photographed by professionals who donate their time and efforts for the cause. there's a facebook page where the animals are featured and it's updated with the good news as adoptions occur. and of course the exposure increases exponentially as viewers "like" the site or share the photos on their own pages. the shelter uses the same photos on their website, so instead of the usual cowering-in-the-corner black and white pictures you're used to seeing, there are these charming, tongue-lolling, sweet looking critters that are easy to imagine curled up on your couch or playing with your kids.
maybe it sounds like a small thing, but like i said, adoptions are at an all time high. it takes dedication and effort. it takes volunteer support. and it works.
if you'd like more information, contact me by using the "comment" button below.
i'll be happy to tell you more.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
a little info
about this blog...
first of all, i really, really want you to come back and read it again. and i'd love for you to tell your friends about it, if you think they'd be interested. it keeps me going, to know that there's interest in what i'm blithering.
if you chose to subscribe, it will not tell me who you are. i apologize and i hope your feelings won't be hurt, but you'll just be a statistic. what it will do is send you an email alert when i publish something new and soul stirring.
you can comment. down at the bottom of each post, click on "comments" and it will open a window for you to respond, if you're so moved. that would be awesome for me to have feedback.
if i've ever hurt your feelings, i apologize. (just throwing that in cause sometimes i'm a clod but i mean no harm.)
first of all, i really, really want you to come back and read it again. and i'd love for you to tell your friends about it, if you think they'd be interested. it keeps me going, to know that there's interest in what i'm blithering.
if you chose to subscribe, it will not tell me who you are. i apologize and i hope your feelings won't be hurt, but you'll just be a statistic. what it will do is send you an email alert when i publish something new and soul stirring.
you can comment. down at the bottom of each post, click on "comments" and it will open a window for you to respond, if you're so moved. that would be awesome for me to have feedback.
if i've ever hurt your feelings, i apologize. (just throwing that in cause sometimes i'm a clod but i mean no harm.)
peeking under
a heavy chair in my bedroom, i spotted an errant sock. what i retrieved was, instead, a sock sized dust bunny. so much for dignity.
one of the things about growing old is that priorities change. you realize that you've got maybe another 10 years before your opportunities for expansion will begin to disappear behind some physical limitation, whether it's a broken part or just an empty tank. the significance of sock bunnies is diminished. do i care that my private space is less than tidy? not that much.
i remember shopping in a big, fancy store in new york a couple decades ago. i found this incredibly delicious pair of italian boots on clearance. if i'd dreamed a perfect pair of boots, these were them. they looked and smelled like burnt sugar, with brushed brass buttons that laced up the front. they were a little bit sexy and a little bit prim. i'd hungered for them my whole life, it seemed, so i grabbed like i was saving a life...i grabbed like a desperate fool. the universe smiled its buddha smile. they were just my size. but they were narrow. nothing about me is narrow. well, i'm sorry, but, seriously...in the face of such perfection, who cares if they pinch! they were beautiful and affordable, so i crammed my shoebox shaped feet down inside them and handed over my plastic money. wow, they hurt. like cripplingly hurt. they eventually looked great in my closet, gathering dust.
today, i could buy my shoes blindfolded and be perfectly happy if they looked like groundhogs on my feet. all i care about is comfort. my new style is most charitably called "broken in". i barely bother to sort the darks from lights cause everything is faded to some shade of grey, anyhow. if my hair starts to feel too hairy, i cut it off. i've made friends with my old face and take it out in public, bare naked. my priorities have changed.
i am humbled by my own imperfection. my path is littered with regrets that have, at times, walled me off from joy. but things have changed. finally, i tire of endlessly consuming myself. finally i say, this body, this consciousness is only important as a vehicle by which i am able to experience the beauty of the world...define beauty how you will.
today when i went out to cora's shed, the sky was absolutely rockin' beautiful. the early sun fell through the window onto the little blind pups in a golden slant of light...in a way that seemed too perfect to be true. i remained still until that light faded and another filled my heart. it felt a holy moment, meant for me to see and then to share with you.
i remember shopping in a big, fancy store in new york a couple decades ago. i found this incredibly delicious pair of italian boots on clearance. if i'd dreamed a perfect pair of boots, these were them. they looked and smelled like burnt sugar, with brushed brass buttons that laced up the front. they were a little bit sexy and a little bit prim. i'd hungered for them my whole life, it seemed, so i grabbed like i was saving a life...i grabbed like a desperate fool. the universe smiled its buddha smile. they were just my size. but they were narrow. nothing about me is narrow. well, i'm sorry, but, seriously...in the face of such perfection, who cares if they pinch! they were beautiful and affordable, so i crammed my shoebox shaped feet down inside them and handed over my plastic money. wow, they hurt. like cripplingly hurt. they eventually looked great in my closet, gathering dust.
today, i could buy my shoes blindfolded and be perfectly happy if they looked like groundhogs on my feet. all i care about is comfort. my new style is most charitably called "broken in". i barely bother to sort the darks from lights cause everything is faded to some shade of grey, anyhow. if my hair starts to feel too hairy, i cut it off. i've made friends with my old face and take it out in public, bare naked. my priorities have changed.
i am humbled by my own imperfection. my path is littered with regrets that have, at times, walled me off from joy. but things have changed. finally, i tire of endlessly consuming myself. finally i say, this body, this consciousness is only important as a vehicle by which i am able to experience the beauty of the world...define beauty how you will.
today when i went out to cora's shed, the sky was absolutely rockin' beautiful. the early sun fell through the window onto the little blind pups in a golden slant of light...in a way that seemed too perfect to be true. i remained still until that light faded and another filled my heart. it felt a holy moment, meant for me to see and then to share with you.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
corabelle
wants in the house. now that we're compatibly walking off-leash with the pack on a regular basis, she heads off toward the back door, asap. she's even used the doggie door and come into the garage. things like that make you wonder what her life was like, before the shelter.
if you're wondering why i won't bring her inside, there are several reasons. she has a comfortable shed with cross ventilation and a ceiling fan. there's doggie door access to a covered, fenced, yard that will be safe even for the pups when they're old enough to do more than scoot out blindly onto the linoleum. i could never re-create that for her, in the house. also, she's extremely defensive whenever one of my dogs comes near the boundary of her little sanctuary. it could get ugly, in a heartbeat, if that happened inside. and finally, there's been so much upheaval for my dogs since i began taking in fosters that i'm reluctant to even suggest that there's anything permanent in this situation. i'm hoping that corabelle and her babies will move on, without drama, to permanent homes after a while. i don't want to mislead her heart or mine.
oh. and if you're interested in helping me name them, there's one boy pup - who looks like a very mini rottweiler - and one girl, with little white feet and a white blaze on her chest. they're barely as big as my hand and they haven't opened their eyes yet, but its the boy pup who keep scooting out of the crate onto the floor. already an adventurer!
on another front, the little stray that i coaxed into the shelter is up for adoption. they've named him Jefferson. big name for a wee fellow. he's a delightful little man. snuggly and quiet with people but playful with any other dog he meets. i do love, love him.
and Mr. Banks is still waiting for a home. he's less grumbly when i take him outside now. i won't say take him for walks cause he will only walk as far as the first shady spot before he stretches out, frog-like on the grass, head up, eyes closed, facing into the breeze. he growled just once, today and it seemed like a mere formality...as opposed to some genuine dissatisfaction. i'm planning on taking him to my vet monday, to have him checked over. he just doesn't seem to feel very good and i want to make sure he's getting what he needs to flourish. and i'm praying he gets enough time for that to happen.
if you're wondering why i won't bring her inside, there are several reasons. she has a comfortable shed with cross ventilation and a ceiling fan. there's doggie door access to a covered, fenced, yard that will be safe even for the pups when they're old enough to do more than scoot out blindly onto the linoleum. i could never re-create that for her, in the house. also, she's extremely defensive whenever one of my dogs comes near the boundary of her little sanctuary. it could get ugly, in a heartbeat, if that happened inside. and finally, there's been so much upheaval for my dogs since i began taking in fosters that i'm reluctant to even suggest that there's anything permanent in this situation. i'm hoping that corabelle and her babies will move on, without drama, to permanent homes after a while. i don't want to mislead her heart or mine.
oh. and if you're interested in helping me name them, there's one boy pup - who looks like a very mini rottweiler - and one girl, with little white feet and a white blaze on her chest. they're barely as big as my hand and they haven't opened their eyes yet, but its the boy pup who keep scooting out of the crate onto the floor. already an adventurer!
on another front, the little stray that i coaxed into the shelter is up for adoption. they've named him Jefferson. big name for a wee fellow. he's a delightful little man. snuggly and quiet with people but playful with any other dog he meets. i do love, love him.
and Mr. Banks is still waiting for a home. he's less grumbly when i take him outside now. i won't say take him for walks cause he will only walk as far as the first shady spot before he stretches out, frog-like on the grass, head up, eyes closed, facing into the breeze. he growled just once, today and it seemed like a mere formality...as opposed to some genuine dissatisfaction. i'm planning on taking him to my vet monday, to have him checked over. he just doesn't seem to feel very good and i want to make sure he's getting what he needs to flourish. and i'm praying he gets enough time for that to happen.
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